The Marauding Memoir
by Narwen
Summary: Being completely revamped Experience the MWPP era of Hogwarts and life after graduation through the eyes of a stranger.
1. Prologue

**The Marauding Memoir**

**Prologue**

_A strange woman dressed in strange clothing paced about a strange room. She was an average height, unnaturally pale, with long, curly black hair, and eerie grey eyes. Muttering to herself, she occasionally cast a glance at the only other thing in the room, a majestic desk, upon which sat a very antiquated computer._

_She glared at it as if it were a rabid beast, poised to attack. "Bleedin' bloody Banshees! Or is it bloody bleedin' Banshees? Or – ah, eff the Banshees. I'll be burned at the stake and boiled before I figure out where the hell Sirius nicked you from." She heaved a great sigh and plopped down in the plush desk chair; a look of resignation upon her face._

* * *

Bloody goddamn hell. I don't quite know how to begin this, really. I mean, how does one begin to write a memoir. Honestly . . . it's quite difficult. Especially for one so horribly un-eloquent as myself. Well, I reckon I should begin with my name, ey?

Yes. Well, glad you agree. Anyhow my name is Tacey Clearwater. Yes, I am related to Penelope. She's my niece, but we don't have much of a relationship. You see, I don't really have much of a relationship with my family – what's left of my family, anyway – as they … well, they think I'm dead. Actually I'm in hiding. What's that? Where am I hiding? Can't tell you that, hence the whole 'hiding' bit to begin with.

What with … current events … I understand that it's necessary, but believe you me, I'm bored off my onion. Dumbledore told me to write an autobiography and I'm not quite sure if he was serious, (you can never tell with that man) but here I am. When this is all over first order of business is to straightaway plop this on his desk. And I hope he reads over this part specifically and chortles to himself as he always does, but I digress.

I suppose I should start with my pre-Hogwarts days. As far back as I can remember I have been tormented by some male. First my brother, Terrence, then none other than the infamous Sirius Black (eventually accompanied by James Potter, of course). My family and I originally lived in some all-Wizarding area in London, Grimmauld Place it was called. Now, compared to the 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' my family basically consists of Muggle-borns and Blood Traitors. Mind you, the Clearwater's started out as a respectable, wealthy Pure Blood family, but –after various marriages to some "un-respectable" people along the lines –we've lost the respect, but retained the wealth. So, while still monetarily on par with families like the Blacks, we weren't treated like one of them. Which can make all the difference when the aforementioned family lives next door to you. The sole person in the neighborhood who treated us normally was little Sirius Black. Of course that was after I had taken him down a peg or two.

Let me explain. When one has only an older brother for company for the first five or six years of one's life, one may become thoroughly tomboy-ish. In my case, much more than thoroughly. So, when a runty (albeit adorable) little boy flew into my backyard one day while I was playing with my brother's Silver Arrow and started throwing mud at me, I didn't take it so well.

I had been contentedly flying in languid circles, when suddenly I felt something gooey smack against the side of my head. I spun around, flinging mud off my face as I went. Assuming it was my brother I yelled, "You prat! Mummy said I could use your broom in the backyard -" My eyes fell on someone vaguely familiar; definitely not my brother. "Who are you?"

The boy with startlingly blue eyes and shaggy black hair flew over to me. "Sirius Black." came the haughty reply.

I stuck out my grubby seven-year-old hand. "Tacey Clearwater."

He looked down his nose at my hand and made a disgusted face. I, still encompassed by my childhood innocence, simply let my hand fall back on my broomstick. Maybe he had never seen grown ups shake hands before, I thought. "Why'd you throw mud at me?"

"Mummy says you have dirty blood. I figured a bit more mud can't hurt you," he said, then paused to inspect my brother's broom. "Is that a _Silver Arrow_? Anyone who's anyone has a Clean Sweep."

I looked down at the broom under me. It wasn't that old, it flew like a brand new broom. Not that I had ever flown a brand new broom. "It's my brother's." I said softly.

Sirius laughed meanly at that. "Can't even afford your own broom! Ah, it doesn't matter . . . what's a girl gonna do with a broom anyway?"

I glared at him. "Plenty of things. Fly . . . play Quidditch -"

His laughter cut me off. "Y-you-_hoo_," he managed to choke out. Then, took a deep breath, attempting to control his laughter, "You think you can play Quidditch?"

"Of _course_ I can play Quidditch!" I exclaimed, bristling at his blatant mocking. Before I had not understood his talk of dirty blood, but this was Quidditch. This was territory I understood frighteningly well.

Sirius laughed again, although this time it sounded as if he was laughing at a puppy chasing his tail. "Girls can't play Quidditch."

I glared at him. "Then why are the Hollyhead Harpies all girls?"

"NO! Y-you're stupid!" he yelled, knowing I was right, and, in true childlike fashion, threw another handful of mud at me.

Even at seven, I understood that he was being a thickheaded bloke. But, for all my insight, I was still seven and I hadn't quite figured out how to deal with thickheaded blokes yet. So, I did the only thing that seemed natural. I threw mud back. Outrage was evident on his face as he slid off his broom, but it soon dissolved into enjoyment as the mud fight escalated.

When I finally beat him into submission, he said, "You know you're all right." Then he quickly added, "For a girl."

I smiled at him. "You're not that bad either. . . . For a daft boy."

He grinned the devilish grin that I would come to know so well over the years and stuck out his mud-caked hand. I took it firmly and the hand shake turned into a 'who can squeeze harder' contest, to be broken apart by my mother looking out back to check up on me. Amazed that one of the Black boys was lowering himself to my level, she stood speechless for a moment.

That one moment was all it took for Mrs. Black to finally figure out where her eldest son had slunk off to. "SIRIUS BLACK!" she shrieked, the tip of her nose just peeking over the fence. "What in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing associating with that _half-blood_!"

That was all my mother needed to spring into action. "Excuse me! I'll have you know that while we may be half-blooded witches, we are full-blooded _humans_, and that should be enough to merit anyone's respect."

Mrs. Black sneered. "Did I ask for your opinion?"

"You've bloody got it anyways." My mother practically spat and stormed back inside, muttering about how a good hex would do her right.

Mrs. Black stopped her own muttering and looked down at Sirius and I. Without a word, she levitated her son and his broom back over the fence. Before Sirius was completely out of my reach he whispered, "I'll owl you."

Once her son was safely on her pureblooded property, she looked down at me with disgust. "Get out of my sight."

I looked up at her in defiance. "I'm in my own backyard. I can stay here if I want to."

With that she shot a poorly aimed hex at me and disappeared behind her hedges and never said another word to me.

That night I was awoken by the sound of an owl scratching against my window. It was the letter from Sirius. The only line I remember from that letter was _'Maybe Mum was wrong about all of you.'_ I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, but I wrote back anyway, telling him that we could be friends (I'd forgive him for starting the mud fight) and that he could come over any time he wanted. I sent it back with his owl, then ran downstairs to make sure it was indeed alright for Sirius to visit.

Instead, what I found out was that my incident with the Blacks was the last straw in an on-going argument between my parents. I snuck up to my brother and asked quietly, "What's goin' on?"

"Dad wants to move, says it would be easier for us if we did. Mum doesn't, she says we'd be giving in to them." Terrence replied softly.

I slipped my hand in his. No matter how much we fought, or he made fun of me, or ditched me, or anything like that – he was still my big brother and he made me feel safe regardless of what was going on around us. "Terry, I don't wanna move." I said.

"I know, Tace. Me neither." he replied.

"No, but I just made a new friend. I told him he could come over sometimes, if he wants."

Before I could say another word, Terrence squeezed my hand tightly. "You mean Sirius Black? He was nice to you?"

"Well," I began, looking at my feet, "Not at first, but then I beat him in a mud fight and he said that I'm alright. And I said he's all right, too. And then he owled me and said that he thinks his mum might be wrong about us . . . whatever that means."

"Bugger. I suppose if we move, he can Floo over sometimes, if his mum'll let him. Better go tell our mum 'bout this." Terrence said, and gently propelled me forward.

So, I went on to tell my parents about my encounter with Sirius and they decided that the 'poor boy' was an average wizard trapped in a 'horrid, blood-obsessed family' and that wherever we moved to, he could certainly come visit.

That 'wherever we moved to' turned out to be Godric's Hollow. Right next door to the Potters, long-time friends of my parents. "These," my mother had told me, "Are the good type of pure bloods. Because they'll never hold it over you."

As it turned out they had a son my age, James Potter. Jamsie and I got along excellently from the first moment we met, and every moment afterwards we were together. We went to our first Quidditch game together, we went to Diagon Alley to buy our first broomsticks together, we pulled our first prank together; mostly everything we did was with each other. We even lost our bloody teeth at the same time.

As time went on, I introduced James to Sirius. Jamsie took a liking to him right away; such a genuinely _nice _bloke, James was. Together, James and I showed Sirius a real childhood in a real family. His time with us was the spot of normalcy that gave him the knowledge to realize that something was off with the way he was being brought up.

Merlin! I can still remember the first time James and Sirius met, a time beyond recollection for many. "You look funny." James said to the gaunt boy in front of him.

"Yeah? Well . . . so do you!" Sirius retorted. "Your hair's sticking up all over the place."

James laughed and ruffled his scruffy hair. "I like it this way."

I giggled and pounced on James, pulling him into a headlock and messing with his hair, shouting, "Like your hair messy, do you!"

Following my lead, Sirius joined in the fray. Finally, horsing around with friends as a seven year old is supposed to. From then on our playful relationship only grew, as James and I inducted him into our little pranking ring. Alright, I'll admit it wasn't much of a ring, it was just me and James until we decided that Sirius was cool enough. Needless to say, he soon surpassed both James and myself in creativity and cunning, although we all shared an equal amount of flair for it. Eventually, the joint Potter-Clearwater household was constantly beset by pranks from the aptly named Inseparable Trio of Trouble.

If you're looking to blame someone for Sirius's … er, penchant for practical jokes, you can most definitely point the finger at James and I and we will be unable to claim otherwise while under the influence of either Veritaserum or Firewhiskey. Honestly, no matter which potion you choose you'll get the same effect. If you ask me, I say just get all the Death Eaters in Azkaban drunk off their bloody arses, you'll get your answers and it'll be much more pleasant for both parties involved. But, I digress. What's done is done . . . and it's not my damned problem anymore. That is, of course, unless someone comes my way with a bloody _jug _of Firewhiskey looking for one of the parties responsible for opening the floodgate restraining the manic genius that is Sirius Black.

Anyhow, the years passed and James, Sirius, and I only became closer and the Inseparable Trio of Trouble only become more inseparable. And more trouble. Until that one fateful day in our eleventh year when that very specifically addressed letter written in green ink came to each of our respective homes. Naturally, we all expected it, but there was the chance (however minute) that one of us could be a squib. As it turned out, none of us were. Squibs, that is.

"I reckon we've got to go for it right away. Make our presence known, you know?" James said.

"Yeah. Right in the middle of the Sorting. Are you daft, Jimmy-boy?" I replied sarcastically.

"If he's daft, then 'ope for us is out the bloody window." Sirius retorted.

"Since when has there been hope for Sirius?" I said to James in a stage whisper.

"Since the day he decided to throw mud at you." James answered, poking me in the stomach.

"Glad I know where _your_ loyalties lie." I huffed.

The three of us were casually arrayed about James's room, planning out when, where, and how we would start off our pranking career at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Sirius continued as if I had never spoken. "Tacey's right. We can't set anything off in the middle of the Sorting. It'd be too obvious. It's got to be the first week of school though."

"Definitely. Otherwise we lose credibility for not starting sooner." James said thoughtfully, ruffling his hair. "And mates, I hate to be the one to say it . . . but we need a better name."

"The Inseparable Trio of Trouble is a mouthful. And what happens if we recruit some new mischief makers along the way? Then we're no longer a trio!" Sirius agreed.

I shook my head at the two of them. Were they completely brainless? None of us had ever even performed a proper spell before. I brought this point to their attention. "Er – hate to burst your bubble, blokes, but we don't even know if we can do these spells." I said, pointing to a stack of books.

Before I can continue I must explain a little bit about the aforementioned books. Terrence had given them to me for Christmas the previous year and I had looked at him as if he had tentacles sprouting from his head for giving me – of all gifts in the world – _books_ for Christmas. Upon further inspection, said books (_Saucy Tricks For Tricky Sorts_,_ Curses and Counter Curses_,and _Madcap Magic for Wacky Warlocks_) were an invaluable present, as they gave James, Sirius, and I loads of ideas and jinxes that we would have never learned in school. To top it all off, one of the books – _Madcap Magic for Wacky Warlocks_, I think – isn't even in print anymore!

"We'll pull it off. None of us are completely mindless." James said, ever the optimist.

"Oh yes, between the three of us we can manage one full brain!" I exclaimed with false excitement.

"Stuff it, Tacey. Quit being a spoilsport." Sirius pouted.

I tossed a pillow at his head. "I'm not being a spoilsport! I'm being the voice of bloody reason!"

"Who needs reason! We're planning pranks here, woman!" James exclaimed as Sirius threw the pillow back at me.

"Alright then," I said slowly, a slightly crazed grin spreading across my face, "How about some exploding fruit in the corridors?"

James took on a similar expression. "_Rotten_ exploding fruit in the corridors."

Sirius simply arched an eyebrow at us. "Is that the best you can do, lads?"

I glared at him.

"Lad and lass." he amended.

"You've figured out something better?" James asked skeptically.

Sirius shrugged. "A few well-aimed tripping jinxes, conjure up a flock of birds, and some expertly placed extra creamy peanut butter . . . and I'd say we're set in the history books of Hogwarts."

"And I assume this is all going on in one of the girl's loos, m'I right?" I sighed.

Sirius looked appalled. "Not just _one _of them!"

"Lads, lads – " James began, a bright and enlightened look dawning upon his face.

"BLOODY HELL!" I screamed, interrupting him, "I'M A GIRL!"

"No, no." Sirius protested.

"You're just a cool bloke with long hair." James explained.

"Whatever. As I was _about _to say: Why not set off exploding fruit in the corridors, thereby forcing everyone in said corridors _into_ the loos which contain tripping jinxes, a flock of rabid birds, and peanut butter."

Sirius beamed at me. "Brilliant."

James, however, looked perplexed. "Can birds actually _be_ rabid?"


	2. To Hogwarts!

**To Hogwarts!**

_The strange woman pushed her chair away from the desk and surveyed her work on the computer screen. She hastily wiped away a tear as it ran down her ivory cheek and rapidly began typing again._

* * *

The days honestly crawled by until September 1st was upon us. And, of course, leave it to me to put off packing until the very last minute. Literally. The very last minute. James and I were to meet Sirius at King's Cross at 10:30 sharp; 10:29 found me – the eleven year old Lord of the Multitaskers – brushing my teeth, pulling on clothes, attempting to tame my hair, tossing random items into my trunk, all the while avoiding my brother, and shouting that I'd 'be there in a moment!' to my mum.

Needless to say, I was found out. James was sent on to King's Cross ahead of me to meet Sirius and twenty minutes later my entire family was on the way to the station.

My father was racing through King's Cross, pushing a trolley with a squeaky wheel that bore both mine and my brother's heavy trunks. I was a step behind him, with my mother hanging on one ear telling me all about the Houses ("It's alright if you're not put in Ravenclaw like the rest of the family, your brother is a Gryffindor, after all") and my brother hanging on the other telling me about what a painful experience the Sorting was ("… and then this e-bloody-normous troll comes out of no where …"). It was then, when we were nearly upon the entrance to Platform 9 ¾ when I saw a red-headed girl looking at me oddly. She was surrounded by Muggles. A man and a woman, who I assumed were her parents, and a horse faced girl, who I assumed was her sister.

After some prompting from her mother, the red-head came up to my brother and I. "I'm sorry, but I heard you talking about Hogwarts a-and I was wondering if you could …"

"Tell you how to get to the platform?" Terrence finished.

"Well … yes, actually." she breathed.

"It's simple!" I exclaimed. My mother and father had moved off to talk to the red-headed girl's family. Her parents looked thoroughly ecstatic. Her sister looked terrified.

"Listen to this one; _'It's simple!'_" Terrence mocked, "This is Tacey's first year at Hogwarts, she doesn't know what she's talking about any more than you."

She looked at him skeptically. "Alright, but … how do we get onto the platform?"

"Yes, Oh Mighty Second Year, how _do_ we get on the platform?" I retorted.

Terrence arched an eyebrow at us, "You walk through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10."

"You have _got_ to be kidding me!" the red-headed girl scoffed.

"Look, I'll _prove _it to you." Terrence said, as he moved to casually lean against the barrier.

And then he was gone. Just like that.

"Well… I suppose there's nothin' for it." I sighed, motioning towards the barrier.

"You can go first." the red-headed girl said quickly.

Just then my father looked up from his conversation with the Muggles and said, "Best to run if it's your first time," with a smile and a wink.

I shrugged and ran towards the barrier Terrence had so effortlessly passed thorough moments ago, half-expecting a very painful and embarrassing crash. I squeezed my eyes shut.

Upon opening them I was greeted with the sight of a black and scarlet train and a massive amount of students dressed in Muggle clothes or wizarding robes. Some with shiny silver badges or owls, or trunks, some bidding their parents goodbye until Christmas, some laughing with friends and boarding the train.

My silent observation was suddenly interrupted when a body came crashing into me and the next thing I knew was the screeching of owls, tangling of limbs, and the merger of red and brown hair – each struggling for freedom as the body that flew into me moved; attempting to untangle itself from me.

Then I laughed. Laughed at the sheer absurdity of my situation. Another voice joined mine and we laughed at the fact that we were two people sprawled out on the train station floor, each a mess in our own right, and no one seemed to see anything out of the ordinary in that. And we simply didn't care.

"I'm sorry," the other body said, finally dislodging itself from me, revealing the Muggle-born girl from before, offering her hand, "I'm Lily Evans."

"Tacey Clearwater." I replied, shaking her hand, "Nice to meet you."

Lily was my first girl friend at Hogwarts, as it turned out, she became one of my best friends and crashing into each other (involuntarily, I think) became a staple of our relationship.

"So …" Lily began, standing up, "I'm guessing you're from a wizarding family?"

"Yeah," I replied absently, brushing dirt off my clothes. "You're not, right? You're a Muggle born?"

"Yeah." Lily replied dejectedly, "You must know everything about magic … and everyone here!"

"Not really. We're not allowed to do magic out of school 'til we're seventeen and I really don't know many people. James and I live in a basically Muggle village."

"I guess I don't feel so bad then," she paused a moment to right her trunk. "James your brother?"

I looked up from fixing my owl's cage. "My brother is Terrence. James Potter lives next door to me. And he's my best friend – aside from Sirius Black, that is – they both should be on the train already … c'mon I'll introduce you."

Together Lily and I loaded our things and boarded the train. After a solid ten minutes of searching, I began to get frustrated.

"Suppose you tell me what they look like and I'll help look." Lily panted, struggling to keep up with me prowling the extensive length of the train.

"Alright, James is fairly tall with hazel eyes and really messy – maybe even scruffy – black hair. Sirius is just a bit shorter with blue eyes and longer-than-usual dark hair." I explained, furtively looking into every compartment.

Lily gave me a funny look. "Why are you slinking about like that?"

"Because," I began in a dramatic stage whisper, "the three of us are notorious for pranking and one must be extra cautious when the other two go conveniently missing."

What Lily must have thought of me at that point, I honestly don't even want to know. I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she thought I was a nutter at the least, if not quite worthy of being locked up in St. Mungo's yet. However; my suspicions were soon confirmed when I suddenly felt Lily crashing into me from behind, sending me face forward to the ground.

"Are you alright?" she inquired, "I'm so sorry … I just tripped out of no where."

"It's alright." I replied, giving my surroundings a suspicious once over.

Abruptly, Lily jumped and gasped, covering her arse with her hands, looking around wildly. I looked at her questioningly as she blushed and let her hands fall away from her bum.

"Someone just pinched my bum, I swear it!" she exclaimed.

Out of nowhere I heard an all-too-familiar snigger and saw Lily's skirt begin to rise. Apparently, she noticed this as well. Her face began to turn the color of her hair with outrage and shock, I motioned for her to stay quiet a moment longer. I reached out into the empty space between us and my hand closed around something silky. I ripped it away and revealed Sirius standing behind a crouching James, who held Lily's skirt. Sirius's grin slowly faded as he turned to see me holding the Invisibility Cloak, tapping my foot impatiently. He winced as he turned back to James and tapped him on the back. James looked up to find a very angry red-head staring down at him. A look of utter terror crossed his features. We all know what they say about angry red-heads.

"Um – er - … L-lovely fabric, this is. Yes. I was just – er – examining … it?" James stuttered as he released the hem of Lily's skirt.

I furiously shoved them into the nearest compartment. "You bloody _wankers_!" I screamed.

"You know them?" Lily asked, astonished.

"Oh, not only do I _bloody_ know them! I unfortunately call them my best friends! This _amazing_ git is James Potter and this twit is Sirius Black." I said angrily, backhanding each of them in the chest as I introduced them.

"Who's she?" Sirius winced with his hand to his chest. I hadn't exactly held back while hitting them, James was still trying to catch his breath.

"I'm Lily Evans." she replied, caught between anger and amusement.

"And I'm thoroughly amused." A voice said from behind me.

I spun around to see a sandy-haired boy sitting by the window. He looked tired and haggard and his robes were patched in three places, but he had a friendly face, which was wearing a jovial expression.

James managed a smile. "I'm-"

"I know." the boy interrupted with a slight smile, "James Potter. Amazing git. Heard the speech. Sit down, you might as well stay at this point."

I stared at him for a second; then laughed as I sat across from him. "I'm Tacey Clearwater."

"Remus Lupin." he replied. "Nice to meet you all."

"You too," Lily smiled as she sat down next to him. "You're a first year, as well then?"

Remus nodded. "What House d'you think you'll be in?"

The train began to move as the five of us pleasantly exchanged idle banter. Lily, still mad about the previous skirt incident, quietly ignored James and Sirius, giving them the curtest of answers. For the most part the train ride was uneventful. Until, I happened to bring up Quidditch (for wherever James or myself were found, there was talk of it) and Lily inquired as to what exactly it is.

Just as James opened his mouth to answer the compartment door flew open, revealing a short, stumpy blonde boy with watery blue eyes.

"Hide me!" he cried in a hoarse whisper.

Panic was vividly etched on his face; complete and utter shock was vividly etched on everyone else's. Sirius was the first to react; he jumped up and slammed the door shut behind the boy.

"Who are you?" Sirius demanded.

"And why do we have to hide you?" James asked.

"My n-name is Peter Pettigrew and you have to hide me because two boys are chasing me, trying to hex me for no good reason. All because I-I asked if I could sit with them." he stuttered.

Lily got up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You can sit with us."

"Who'd want to hex you?" I asked quietly, somewhat perplexed.

"I'll bet my Cauldron Cakes my cousin has something to do with this," Sirius growled, waving the cakes around, "Was there an ugly dark-haired girl with them?"

Lily looked confused, but wisely didn't say anything. Remus looked sympathetic; everyone who was raised in the Wizarding World knew of the Black's and their … beliefs. James and I grimaced, we both knew how Sirius felt about his family.

This all, of course, went over Peter's head, because he didn't know yet that Sirius was one of the Black clan, soon to become the infamous black sheep (no pun intended) who found himself in Gryffindor. Regardless, Peter was never the swiftest bloke you'd find.

"Well …," Peter blushed, "I wouldn't exactly say she's _ugly_."

I gave a slight sigh of relief: no one could call emaciated little Bellatrix pretty. "Maybe it wa-"

Again, the opening of the compartment door stopped conversation. I held my breath as I felt Sirius tense and looked up. It wasn't Bellatrix – thank Merlin for small favors. It was, however; the only two people, who could claim no relation to Sirius, that we mercilessly tormented throughout our seven years at Hogwarts. Severus "Snivelly" Snape and Lucius "Lurgy Lucy" Malfoy.

"That's them." Peter whispered.

James, Sirius, Remus, and I all sat up a little straighter. My hand slowly reached for my wand. I knew full well there was no guarantee that I could perform any of the multitude of pranking spells I had committed to memory.

"And who are you?" I asked brusquely.

Sirius sneered at them as he stood. "I know who they are. Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape … one, a prestigious Pureblood. The other wishes he was. I'll give you three guesses who."

James slid over and elbowed me in the ribs, "I don't know about you, Tace, but I'd wager my broomstick that dear Severus is quite the wanna-be Pureblood."

"I would have to concur, Jamsie." I replied mockingly, "Sweet Severus does seem to possess the air of one who has kissed many an arse."

Snape pushed passed Sirius and glared at me. "Shut up, you bint. Don't call me by my first name … you Muggle-lovers don't deserve it."

"Would you prefer Snivellus then?" Lily asked with mock-concern.

"Filthy Mudblood!" Lucius exploded, all in the compartment save Lily and Snivelly gasped, "Muzzle your disgusting friends, will you, Black?"

"Look who's talking Malfoy; you don't get much dirtier than a former supporter of Grindelwald." Remus spat, incised by derogatory remark towards Lily – as we all were.

Lucius glared at him. "Who are you to even speak to me?"

"Oh, stuff it, Malfoy. You've got money, it doesn't make you a bloody god!" I snapped, matching his glare as best I could.

"Don't talk to him that way, Half-blood!" Snape screamed.

James and I looked at each other, then back at Snivelly. We spoke at the same time: "What? Did she insult your boyfriend, Snivellus?" "Are you daft? You're a Half-blood, too!"

The sudden barrage of insults from myself and James caused Snape and Malfoy to draw their wands furiously. They stood poised, with wands at the ready, but said nothing. Peter let out an audible whimper, while Lily and Remus schooled their faces to betray none of their building apprehension.

James, Sirius, and I simply threw back out heads and laughed.

Everyone else in the compartment sent us a skewed glance, but we paid them no notice. Sirius cackled madly as he sent a Hives Hex at Malfoy, followed by a quick Jelly Legs Jinx from me to Snivellus, and completed by a _Tarantallegra_ on the already itching Lucy from James.

Snape stumbled as far as his jellied legs would allow, while a wildly dancing Malfoy attempted to push past him whilst reaching to scratch every possible place an itch could occur. Some none too pleasant, I can assure you.

All six of us howled with laughter as we watched them beat a sloppy and undignified retreat. James, Sirius, and I shared silent moment of triumph at successfully casting the spells we had worked so hard to memorize since Christmas.

Lily's laughter died first. Looking fairly apologetic she said, "I-I feel kinda bad … did they really deserve all that?"

"He called you a Mudblood, Lily. He deserves much worse than that." James said gravely, turning the mood in the compartment serious.

"I don't know what that means," Lily said uncertainly to Remus, Peter, and I; still remembering to ignore James and Sirius.

"Mudblood is a really awful name for someone who's Muggle-born." I explained quietly.

Remus nodded. "It's not exactly a term you should expect to hear among civilized wizards and witches."

"No …" Peter agreed, "But, those two are hardly civilized to begin with."

We all nodded in quiet agreement; then grinned softly at each other as the train ground to a halt. Sirius flew across the compartment, pressing his face against the window and fogging it with his breath.

"Hogwarts," he breathed, "We're here."


	3. Introducing the Purveyors of

**Introducing the Purveyors of Magical Mischief & the First Two Years**

_Again the woman paused, this time to quell the mad laughter that rang clearly from her swollen red lips. Regulating her laughter to uncharacteristic giggles, she fell back to her task and pressed ahead.

* * *

"Firs' years! Firs' years over here!" a loud, rumbling voice called._

"Sweet Merlin!" James gasped.

"I've never seen a bloke that tall in my life!" Remus exclaimed as he and James ran ahead of us.

"Sweet who?" Lily asked.

"Merlin." Peter replied, seeing the blank look on her face he continued, "You know, Merlin … greatest wizard of all time?"

I picked up where Peter left off. "Honestly, Lily! I _know_ Muggles have heard of Merlin."

She shook her head slightly.

"Legend of King Arthur ringing any bells for you?"

She looked at me with wide eyes, her mouth forming a delicate 'o'. "That's not real though," she said slowly.

"Lily," I giggled, "Look where you are!"

Peter nodded in agreement. "We use his name as … well, as an oath, really. You can swear on Merlin's beard or his knickers are my favorite. Or you throw in Morgana when you're especially miffed."

"Isn't that disrespectful?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at us.

"Nah … he rather enjoyed it, actually. Barmy old codger that he was." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"You've met Merlin!" Peter asked excitedly, "How!"

"I'd swear on Merlin's knickers that he hasn't …" I replied dryly.

Sirius grinned and slung his arm about my shoulders. "S'only what I've heard. He was an old friend of the family … back in the day."

"You. Are a smarmy bastard." I replied calmly, stating a well-known fact.

He smirked at me. "Why tha- whoa …"

Before us stood the largest man I'd ever see in my life. No exaggeration. James and Remus were already standing with him, chattering on excitedly.

"Oi, Sirius! Tacey! Over here!" James called, beckoning us forward, "These are my friends I was telling you about. This is Sirius Black, Tacey Clearwater, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily …" he faltered.

"Evans," she said softly, staring up in awe at the man.

James nodded. "Evans. Evans."

Remus picked up the distracted James's narration. "This is Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Grounds and Keys here at Hogwarts."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Hagrid." Lily said primly.

"Bah, nobody calls me 'mister'. Hagrid's just fine." He replied jovially.

"Wotcher, Hagrid!" Sirius laughed, clapping him on the arm, "We might just be your worst nightmare in years to come, so I suppose it's best to buddy up to you now. Good job, Jimmy-boy. Way to think ahead."

I elbowed Sirius in the ribs. Hard. "What d'you think you're doing! Giving us away before we even pull a prank!"

James clamped a hand over my mouth hurriedly, but Hagrid just laughed. "Another group of pranksters yeh are, ey? Good. S'been too long since we had some quality entertainment 'round here."

James, Sirius, and I looked at him skeptically.

"It's not me yeh have to worry about!" he cried, "It's tha' Filch, the caretaker, and his ruddy cat you have to look out for."

James smiled up at him. "Thanks for the tip."

"Any time." Hagrid replied, "Now could the lot of yeh get in the boats for me, Four at a time."

We obliged, of course, and the four boys piled into one boat, leaving Lily and I to clamber into the boat next to theirs. The empty space was soon filled by two boys, one had light brown hair and hazel eyes, the other had soft blonde hair and dark eyes.

"Hullo!" the brunette boy sang, "I'm Amos Diggory."

The other boy gave a cheerful wave. "Lennox Davies."

We all introduced ourselves and fell into the generic chatter that all firsties engaged in on upon their arrival. Even then Lily seemed to be enamored with Amos. Much to James's dismay, of course. Despite all that was going on, each one of us fell silent as we sailed across the lake and Hogwarts, in all it's majestic glory, came into view ahead of us. I had never seen Hogwarts before and although my parents and my brother had tried to describe it to me, they never did it justice. Upon seeing it for myself, I realized that they hadn't done it justice by miles. Bathed in the pale light of the half moon reflecting off the water it almost looked like a mirage. But the tall towers and strong arches proved to be quite solid upon further inspection.

I clambered out of the boat on shaky legs, awed by the vision of the castle. Lily came to stand beside me on the shore of the lake, the both of us too amazed to move. I quietly took her hand and tore my eyes away from the castle towering above us to look at her. She flashed me a quietly confident smile and we set off towards the school with our heads held high. The boys followed us close behind, still gawking like village idiots. We made our way into the castle to be greeted by a stern woman who introduced herself as Professor McGonagall. She gave us a short speech on the houses. Lily quietly glared at James and I for giving her a slightly (alright, extremely) stilted version of it back on the train.

One moment I was sniggering with James and the next we were all filing into a large room with an enchanted ceiling. I suddenly felt the eyes of the Hogwarts student body pressing down on me and fell silent. Our Sorting positively flew by. All I can recall is poor Sirius still convinced he'd be a Slytherin 'til the very moment he was pushed towards the Gryffindor table by McGonagall.

Oh! and I remember that _sodding_ hat telling me I've too much courage for my own good and it'll get me into trouble or some such rubbish. Immediately afterwards it pronounced me a Gryffindor. Go figure, ey? I've always thought myself the quintessential Gryff, but my poor mum, she so desperately wanted another Ravenclaw in the family. I was so desperately hoping she'd pop out another kid before she pinned her hopes on me. No such luck, but I digress.

Next thing I knew Jamsie-poo was being Sorted and my brother was shouting across the Great Hall at him. Telling him to 'get a move on, Potter' because he was hungry and 'the faster you get your arse on that stool, the faster I get me food.'

Blokes. Always thinkin' with those bottomless pits they call stomachs.

I'm sure you've a basic idea of what happened next. Remus, Peter, Sirius, James, Lily and I all grew together, well … for the most part. There was a definite schism between Lily and James. Honestly, she would choose to associate with Sirius rather than James when needs be. And, I mean … really, who chooses Sirius over James!

Nothing against Sirius, Merlin knows I love him to pieces, but in the end Sirius is a vastly exaggerated from of James – give or take a few key traits. Still, it might have been the fact that James took it upon himself to start up a 'friendly' competition with Lily, which (of course) led to all-out feuding.

Aside from that, we all quickly found our niche in Hogwarts society – socially and academically. Collectively the Marauders were in a class of their own, but separately they each had their place. James was the popular Quidditch player who would transfigure you into a newt just for the hell of it. Sirius was the rowdy prankster you went to if you wanted 'ready-to-hand-in-homework' and Remus was the kid who wrote it and split the profits. Peter … honestly Peter was never much good at anything, but he had a knack for Herbology.

What? Don't look at me like that. …. …. …. Alright, fine! The bloke was bloody brilliant when it came to pacifying man-eating plants. But, that doesn't mean he was ever bloody _useful_.

Lily was the smart girl who would let you copy her charms homework if you promised to change the words around a bit and study. And I spent my seven year run at Hogwarts as the general trouble-maker and fighting for the number one spot in Potions. My rival was, of course, none other than Snivellus Snape. Remus swears that's why I hate him so much now, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's talk a bit about second year.

Quite a bit happened that year. The start of mine and James's Quidditch career – he became a Chaser and I joined my brother as the Gryffindor Beater. Sirius and Remus took the commentator position and started their career of being frequently threatened by McGonagall.

Second year was the year Binns died, too. Blimey … looking back on that, I have to admit that it was pretty fucking weird. I mean, really just … _weird_. Honestly, who can say that they were walking to class one day with their friends, and then their teacher walked bloody _through _them. Not many, I reckon.

Lily and I were walking to History of Magic with Amos Diggory and Edmund Prewett, when suddenly this horrid cold feeling passed through me. I froze in mid-step. It felt like a bucket of ice was thrown on me from behind. My first thought was the Marauders, but the cold went right through to my stomach and I knew they weren't cruel enough to perform a freezing charm on me in February. As I stood there completely rigid, Lily, Amos and Edmund all wore shocked expressions and kept glancing from me to something down the corridor.

"Wh-what … was that?" I managed to choke out.

"Er – Binns …" Amos said quietly.

"What?" Lily asked in a hushed voice. She was still staring with wide eyes down the hall.

"That was Binns. He's a- He just -" Edmund stuttered softly.

All further conversation was cut off by loud voices coming from behind us. Well, they were loud when compared to our whispers.

"He's sick again." James said crossly.

"Again? Something's off with him, he's sick almost every month." Sirius said, "S'not natural."

Peter made a derisive sound. "Come off it, lads. He just gets sick easy. Look how pale he looks all the time."

"No one gets sick that easily on schedule." James retorted, "I think -"

He stopped when he realized Lily, Amos, Edmund, and I were within earshot. A smirk slowly grew upon James's lips as he surveyed us, all extremely pale and standing quite still. Apparently looking very shell-shocked as well.

Sirius laughed as he gave me a playful shove. "You lot look like you've seen a ghost! Peeves get a little too rowdy for you?"

James ruffled Lily's hair. "Or maybe Nearly Headless Nick decided to give you a right scare, ey Evans!"

Contact with James was all Lily needed to snap back to the present. "Get your grubby hands _off_ me, Potter. I'll have to shower twice tonight."

Peter waved a hand in front of Amos's face. "What happened, mate?"

"Binns walked clear through Tacey, that's what happened!" he exclaimed.

James stopped laughing. "What?"

"I always said the old codger was going soon!" Sirius smiled, then he turned thoughtful, "Don't suppose we can skive off class today?"

I smacked Sirius upside the head. "This is serio-oh…. hell."

Before he could reply with some charming witticism, Gertrude Prewett (Ed's twin sister) and Emmeline Vance came racing around the corner. Well, actually Emma was racing around the corner and Gertie was being dragged by her. She (Gertie, that is) was so pale you could almost see through her, her eyes were bugging out of her head and … well, frankly she looked terrified. Let's just say she'd had some better days.

"What happened to her?" James asked.

"Binns …he's a ghost!" Emmeline exclaimed, "He just walked _through_ Gertie!"

I hoped I hadn't looked like that.


End file.
